To be
honest it’s an uphill task and no one can 'categorize' them. The reason is
simple- you just “CAN’T FIGURE THEM OUT”, and just when you think you have
finally understood them; you’ll meet a new very different kind. But still,
based on our experiences and accounts from our numerous friends of both the
sexes, we have tried our bit to categorize them.
So just before we start, we want to remind all of you that many wars have been fought and lost (remember ‘Troy’) because of women. Many bright young guys have ruined their careers because of them. But still we-men want them (bloody testosterone!). No matter what, we can’t scratch them off our mind and instead thank God for making such wonderful mysterious creatures. We believe they can all be classified on the basis of their behaviour, nature, social skills and (let's say) 'MQ' (which we will not dwell upon here!)
(The parts in “italics” , are excerpts from the song ‘Dangerous’ by Michael Jackson)
1. The Cosmopolitans- The
first of the kind, these are the most pretty and sizzling of the lot.
‘The Cosmopolitan’ is the one who is distinguished in the crowd by virtue
of the appeal she makes to the sensory route of vision. She has a habit of
getting boys' attention ever since she was born. And most importantly she
loves it and flaunts it in front of other girls. May be, there’s a special
place in hell reserved for her, as all the guys who fell for her and got
rejected have used all possible swear words, against her. She’s a heart
breaking machine. She is very particular of (and obsessed with) what she buys,
wears, eats etc-brand conscious. She is snobbish; the kind who would sometimes
buy her clothes from factory outlets, cheap stores just to show off that she
wears branded clothes. Even if she gets involved in a relationship, she won’t
get emotional in it. Her main aim would be to suck all the money out of the boy’s
pocket and make him, her source of all monetary demands. Rich and famous guys
generally are the ones who become her bunnies.
"I never knew but I was walking the line,
come go with me, I said I have no time...."
"The lips of a strange woman drop as a honeycomb,
"The lips of a strange woman drop as a honeycomb,
and her mouth was smoother than oil..."
"Take away my money, throw away my time,
you can call me honey,
you can call me honey,
but you're no damn good for me..."
2. The Attractions- She’s
pretty, a little less on physical attributes that make
her second to the ‘Cosmopolitans’ and hence she’s jealous of them. She is
style conscious but unlike the ‘Cosmopolitans’, she’s a bit more sensible and
sober, both in her thinking and presentation. Befriending her is not child’s
play but certainly a lot easier. No matter if you are a college hunk or some
filthy rich guy driving a costly sedan, she will never say yes to you until she
gets to know you properly. This is the major difference between her and the
Cosmopolitans. A very special characteristic of her is even if a guy who she
has a crush upon, proposes her, she’ll initially say no. But few days after the
proposal the answer miraculously turns to 'Yes'. So, she tends to ‘hang’
proposals of friendships (and relationships) before answering in the
affirmative, even though, deep down, she feels she shouldn't. These kinds of
girls are perfect for guys who want a blend of beauty and a bit of
emotions. But mind you, no matter what, she’ll trouble you after she gets
committed. And you’ll always have a sense of insecurity in your relationship.
The reason being she’s both emotional and pretty, due to which she has many
close friends of the opposite sex. And you guys know this fact quite well
that no one really, is a friend of a pretty girl. We are all waiting
for our opportunities. So her close friends (boys) can make you a little uncomfortable in your relationship.
“As she stalked the room,
I could feel the aura of her presence,
Every head turned feeling passion and lust.
This girl was persuasive, the girl I could not trust…”
“…You’re no damn lover, friend of mine…”
3. The Heartbreaker- The
‘Heartbreaker’, is most dangerous of them all. She’s pretty or has at least
above average looks. She ‘appears’ to be calm, serene, sober and simple, making
a lot of pulses soar. Boys fall for them badly and start loving these girls.
You start with being 'just friends', and you patiently wait for
the right moment. But just when you are about to convey your
feelings, she’ll call you and say that she already has a boyfriend or that she
loves some other guy and the funny part is she’ll ask you what she should do!
Your whole world turns upside down, but still you are her friend waiting for
your slightest chance. But wait; after few months you realize that she’s not as
simple and sober as you'd thought. And you were a big fool to fall in love
with her. So after all those wasted months, even your friendship ends, because
you stop messaging or calling, and she never bothers
either. In fact at that particular time you realize
that throughout your friendship, she herself had never initiated a conversation
with you and even now she does not care to re-establish contact, whereas long
after, you are still hoping for some day and some way to break the ice. You
were like any other normal friend to her but unfortunately for you, she was
the world.
“She came at me in sections with the eyes of desire,
I felt trapped into her web of sin.
A touch, a kiss. A whisper of love.
I was at the point of no return.
Deep in the darkness of passion’s insanity.
I felt taken by lust’s stretching humanity.
The girl was persuasive, this girl I could not trust,
I felt taken by lust’s stretching humanity.
The girl was persuasive, this girl I could not trust,
The girl was bad, the girl was Dangerous…”
4. The Lovables- Well,
these are the girls which generally boys want to marry. They are not good for
making Girlfriends, but they are perfect wives. They are the perfect definition
of an ideal lady and a true realisation of womanhood. ‘The Lovables’, perhaps
the rarest of the lot, are best companions- as daughters, sisters, friends, and
lovers. They possess very average looks but very strong virtues- innocence,
sincerity and devotion. (Remember 'Kalpana' of 'Ghajini' and 'Jamie'
of 'A Walk to Remember'). Boys fall for them, all for their simplicity and
genuine soberness. They are kind, helpful and in some cases shy too. The most
interesting thing about these girls is you won’t fall for them in the first
glance. Instead, when you gradually start knowing her, your likeness for
her will turn into serious love (just as it is shown in 'A Walk to Remember').
The biggest problem with these girls is they are reluctant to say 'yes'. And
she’ll cite family and personal reasons for that. At the prime stage of your
friendship she’ll chat with you, she’ll message you and sometimes will give you
very clear indications that she likes you too, but still when it is about
getting in a relationship, she’ll say a flat No! But all in all, these girls
are very rare to find. If you do find such a girl and involve yourself in a
relationship, and your aim was to look for a genuine love, then consider
yourself one of the luckiest guy. For fun frolic guys these girls are a strict
'No'. You’ll get really bored with them.
“The way she came into the place,
I knew right then and there,
There was something different about this girl.
The way she moved-
Her hair, her face, her lines: divinity in motion…”
5. The Sporties- These
are the most vibrant of the lot. ‘The Sporties’, as the name vaguely suggests,
enjoy life more than anybody else who has ever fallen on the earth. Frequent
mood swings are a part of her life. She is amazingly talkative, expressive and
chirpy. She possesses abnormally high energy levels and seems impressively
bubbly and peppy. Guys enjoy talking and being with them. She creates a very
large social circle around her with equal representation from either gender.
However, she has a very meticulous and manipulative mind that knows how to use
people (especially boys) for her benefit. She knows whom to acquaint, which
ones to befriend and how many to ‘tame’. She’s not emotional at all and loves
to remain single but that doesn’t mean that these type of girls don’t get
committed. (It all depends on your skills!). Her looks may range from average
to attractive. But no matter how her looks are, you’ll still want to talk to
her because she’s all fun. These girls are tough to get, but still somehow even if you get committed with such a
girl you might later regret because she is really hard to handle. But
despite all her flaws, some boys still fall for her. The reason may be
that somewhere in your subconscious you believe that this girl will bring
that fun element in your life which might be lacking until then. For guys who
are already funny and extrovert enough, a possible reason is that they think,
if committed with such a girl, together they can create a resonating
(fun) effect on their lives.
“I cannot sleep alone tonight,
My baby left me here tonight.
I cannot cope till its sunrise,
You and your manipulations,
You’ve turned my baby…”
“Her inner spirits sharp as a two-edged sword,
But I loved it cause it’s dangerous….”
PS:
As we said earlier, it is impossible to categorize girls, but we guess we have
covered 50% of the whole lot. Anything interesting or any of your experiences
you want to share; your valuable comments are invited.
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