That's life.

One fine afternoon in my seventh semester of college, I was in one of my professor’s cabin. He was a knowledgeable man, admirably articulate, delightfully sarcastic and among the very few in that place who always knew exactly what he was talking about, perhaps even more- a thorough professional. I had always looked up to him as a straightforward man of reason who wasn’t to be messed with, in any form or measure. That was also the popular opinion. Back then, I was a rudderless ship, rejected by the very first (and in all likelihood then- the only) company that had come to recruit on campus, one of India’s leading auto makers- a "dream company" for everyone. Dejected and seeking an escape, I had pinned all my hopes on the CAT which was due in a fortnight. Incidentally, I was also coordinating a team of 43 people to organize the college literary fest, and simultaneously composing 2 songs with my college band, in the coming weekend. I was drowned in work and despair.

I had gone to meet him that fine day with one humble request- to postpone the internal exam for his subject by one day. In that place and time, it was (IMHO) a reasonable request, more the norm than an exception and many a student had often used various means to accomplish the same with other subjects and professors. But not this person. Nevertheless, I presented my case before this gentleman for what seemed like a minute or two, laying out my apprehensions as well as nearly all the insecurities of my ravaged mind as best as I could.

Seated on the other side of an immaculately arranged table, the professor listened intently, laid back calmly on his executive chair, elbows rested on its arms, fingertips of the left hand gently meeting those of the right exactly in front of his chest- motionless- a mildly intimidating reptilian gaze analyzing all my verbal and non-verbal cues. Then, straightening his back, slowly drawing his elbows to the table while maintaining the overall posture, retaining the eye contact and with an expression on his face that would have made even the best poker player in the world fold; he said those two magical words you see on the title today. I do not remember what he said thereafter; as he went on to shoot the request on its head, respectfully apathetic to nearly everything I had talked about until then.  

Miserably short of preparation in what was arguably the most nagging subject for everyone in the entire graduation curriculum, I went on to give the exam precisely on the pre-decided date and time, later clearing the subject with 55 marks- barely 5 more than the minimum required and my lowest ever anywhere.

That’s life.

Most of what we millenials consider quarter-life-crises (or just 20s things) arise out of messed-up priorities stemming from a warped sense of life and reality, especially our personal notions of right and wrong. We are genetically programmed to seek patterns in random events and behaviors. From our (embarrassingly limited) individual learnings and life experiences, we continuously seek to encode the enormously complicated and multi-faceted human nature into a set of laws and rules- what we then so self-righteously like to label as our ‘life principles’. Then, carrying our respective sense and interpretations of ideals and morality, we blissfully go about this world believing that every person we come across will also be willing to play by the same set of rules and principles all the time (Wow!). Then, when things go south (and they invariably always do), we sulk and go about resenting anything that will make us feel good about ourselves once again (lies), conveniently editing our own rules all the time (much Wow!). The vicious cycle repeats itself.

In reality, however, good and bad are unnecessary over-simplifications that life does not have any regard for. They are human constructs, laughable attempts of a clueless race of apes with a huge sense of self entitlement, who think they are smart enough to make sense of the sheer randomness that surrounds us all the time. Conservative upbringing and social conditioning do more than enough in this regard to give an illusion of the existence of some sense of cosmic justice- Karma so to say- that pervades God’s beautiful world that we live in. We are deluded into believing that good begets good, that IT is all about us, and that this incomprehensibly vast universe owes us this much.

Thriving warmly in our own cosy bubbles, it takes us forever to make truce with the simple reality that principles don’t matter, only actions do. That the notion of Karma is at best a personal consolation, a cold uncomfortable hug available to everyone in times of great grief and suffering. That right, wrong, truth, morality, friendship, duty, success, justice, love, happiness, responsibility etc are all personal constructs that carry no inherent meaning- constructs that mankind developed and fostered in order to establish and nurture civilized societies (look where that got us!). They only mean what we want them to mean, what we wish them to mean. That may obviously be something for one individual and something else entirely to another, possibly even totally contradictory. As a matter of fact, most of what transpires around us all the time has no inherent meaning or purpose in itself. It is just a result of the actions and momentary endeavors of a vast bunch of intelligent apes doing what they think is necessary, what needs to be done at that point in time. It is we who choose to ascribe any meaning to such primal acts of unconditional needs, wants or desires.

"The world only makes sense if we force it to". Looking around these days, it seems whatever little sense of conscience that some of us possess is an evolutionary weakness which natural selection will soon get rid off. In today's times, when internet memes on social networks have become the latest source of our life principles (let alone billboards and paperback) and the guiding light of our lives, there remains only one way we can live- without any rules. Believing nothing. Expecting nothing. Doing whatever is necessary and whatever needs to be done- primal and pure, as it has always really been, as it was always supposed to be.

In the times that followed, the more I reflected back on that eventful day, the more I found the gentlemanly professor’s actions and decision justified. In fact, he was far more courteous and reasonable than life itself is. It is incomprehensible, unpredictable and unforgiving. To everyone. And we would be miserably naive to believe otherwise. Those who disagree simply need to give it more time to discover this themselves. It isn’t necessarily a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ thing, just what it is.

There is no truth but what we claim. No fate but what we make. Everybody lies. Everybody dies.

And that is the lie I choose to tell myself.

What’s yours?